Crone's Time Away
     Grandmother Growth extends her hand to the baby crone beginning to enter peri-menopause. Hormones begin to shift and change, rocking the cradle of the wise woman she is becoming. Lulling her to sleep, to rest, to enter the dream time of creation for she will soon be recreating herself. The cradle now rocks to a different rhythm. Familiar patterns of monthly cycles and flow change. A woman's former self, is not being stripped away, she is becoming something more.
     The first stage of self-initiation in the crone's crowning is isolation. It is time for the menopausal woman to find out who she is apart from the roles she plays. Many women feel the need to be alone. To sleep alone so that the tossing of covers to accommodate night sweats and constant waking can be guilt-free. Alone to deal with hot flashes, to come to terms with the chaos created by hormonal changes and come to know the shadow self. Isolation is often thrust on women when children leave the nest, a relationship with a significant other is strained or broken and erratic moods alienate former friends. When a woman is able to establish boundaries and honor the changes she is undergoing she is better able to relate to others.
     Isolation beckons the menopausal woman to take her crone's time away. In isolation, perhaps for the first time, she can hear the voice of her own needs and desires. Most women spend the early years of their adult life tending to the needs of others. Now it is time to tend to their own needs. A simple ceremony can be done to help loved ones understand that time alone is not a rejection of them but a claiming of one's self. Take a vacation alone, plan a monthly retreat at a religious center or out in nature. Create a space or an altar that is uniquely your own. If there is no room in your house consider a space in the yard, or a solarium. If all you can do is close the door be sure that your family or friends know not to disturb you.
     For many women being alone is a terrifying experience. It may evoke feelings of depression or loneliness. We are strengthened when we recognize the companion who awaits us at the center of ourselves. Journaling to document the physical as well as emotional changes creates a time-line that serves as a guide through menopause. Self-discovery is the key so explore who you are during your time away. Seek things you have longed to do, but were afraid to try. Dance, write fantasy stories, do some form of art, or exercise that connects you with your body. Do not concern yourself with the quality of what you produce. Being creative is what opens the channel for life force energy to flow through you. Express and reveal yourself, to yourself, without the need to be recognized by others.
     There are things you can do in these modern times to honor yourself as a woman. Look into exploring ceremonies of initiation like the Crone's Time Away, the Mother Earth Gourd Ceremony and the Mask Ceremony. Learn the Tslagi Dance of Life or practice writing exercises designed for values clarification.