Hummingbird Journals

Willing Sacrifice

November 11, 2010

The Willing Sacrifice, or Hero’s journey, is the Jungian archetype that I most identify with. This goat, bearing the mark of Tika that denotes it as the willing sacrifice, gave me pause to reflect on the sacredness of this aspect of personal as well as collective growth. I actually experienced an ecstatic tear of joy in witnessing this scene. Beyond the notion of cruelty to animals, I stood in reverence of this regal beast. Its ensuing death was not senseless and transcends even the need for nourishment. The passionate red blessing upon its back a testimony to the conscious awareness of its being. Far from unknowing, I recognized that the fate that would befall it was one of destiny. The mark, an unconscious volunteering of the soul to surrender with nobility. The blessing upon its back moving me to honor this animal and thereby honor the aspect of my soul that would have gladly traded places with it.

The stark gray background represents the modern world. This business is closed for the day in this land where honoring spiritual holidays is not usurped by secularism and greed. The owner of the shop is the willing sacrifice forfeiting economic gain to pray in earnest.  I also closed my business for a month in order to create space for prayer. This phase in my life’s journey is in a very real way my spiritual sacrifice on behalf of others. 

The building of Medicine Wheels and the time to beseech the help of the spirits for each of the ninety names on my list is the overt way I make an offering. In addition, I have made every effort to seek out the transpersonal, deepening experiences that bring me face-to-face with the Threshold Guardian. The courage to confront rites of passage is sacrificial in nature. ”It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” Joseph Campbell.

I align myself with the belief that whatever we heal in ourselves we heal in the whole. Indeed this principle is foundational to a shamanic path. I am willing to go to the edge of my own awareness motivated by the desire to serve in some humble way, adding momentum to the “shift” in consciousness through the embracing of my own trials and triumphs. At times, I have wrestled with a sense of urgency and desperation in being called to this path. I woke on my 34th birthday to the realization that I was older than Jesus and challenged by the question, what was I doing with my life? Evidence of the Trickster abounds in the pressure imposed by the false identification with linear time. The 2012 Prophecy, looming in the not too distant future, was a prompting for me to set sail on my own Odyssey, risking the shipwreck of financial security upon my return.

Even more daunting is the risk of exposure. The shadow is anything that has been suppressed, neglected or forgotten. Internal demons, neurosis, vices, dependencies, emotional scars and the limitations of my ego mind are recorded in the unraveling of my tale. The things left unsaid haunting my psyche for resolution and emancipation from the secrets and shame that I have yet to release. The naked bearing of my soul through journaling my experiences is also a willing sacrifice. Inviting criticism and judgment as a means of personal reflection. 

I am the paradox, much to the dismay of my personal relationships. Having chosen the doorway of Deer Medicine/Gemini, it becomes my duty to deal with duality. “A (person) does not show (their) greatness by being at one extremity, but rather by touching both at once.” Pascal. This is also a motivating factor in the work that I have embarked upon. Can I stretch enough to hold both ends of the continuum? Can I be both willing to venture out on a limb and stable in my pursuit as a catalyst for cultural change? Is the meaning I derive of benefit to others? Am I clear enough in my own intent to serve as an agent of change by sharing my own metamorphosis? 

“Your life is the fruit of your own doing.” Joseph Campbell.

Traveling is the test of the Threshold Guardian at ever juncture. Am I awakened in the NOW moment enough to grasp the opportunity of serendipity? Have I paved my experience with clear intent? This trip was filled with conformations for me. Dreams of serving God, by working with Mother Theresa, have inspired my darker moments in life for over thirty years. Stepping over the threshold of the doorway into the hospital for the elderly was a moment in my life where the waking dream and the underlying theme of my existence collided. The result being a moment of self-actualization. I return home with an emptiness that I have touched in reading Mother Theresa’s letters of anguish. I am forced to release her hand and all that she once meant to me. The joy of stepping into the opportunity to live out my own inspiration is juxtaposed by the releasing of the energy the imagining of that moment once held. The irony of experiencing the “dream come true”, with its verification of an ability to follow guidance, is stepping into the next level of the unknown.