Missionaries of Charity

Missionaries of Charity

October 2, 2010

I asked the man at the desk to call a taxi to take me to the Missionaries of Charity. He did not know where it was. He asked around, but he couldn’t find it. So I started walking. I walked for two hours along the crowded, dusty streets. I stopped for water and asked for directions. To my happy surprise, the shopkeeper spoke English and told me to go back to the intersection and take a left. It turned out to be just around the corner. 

I arrived while the children were resting. The sister brought me to an office and gave me some cards with photos and quotes from Mama T. She visited with me and was fascinated by my flip. I gifted her some of the money that you gifted me. She informed me I had to wait 1 1/2hrs. to volunteer.

To pass the time I was meditating with my eyes closed. Suddenly, there was a very bright light. I thought one of the sisters had opened the door, but there was no sound of footsteps or the door opening. I could feel a presence and Mother came to sit next to me. Reading my thoughts she said, “Don’t be disappointed. You do not waste your time sitting here in silence. Come and sit with me for this hour. Quiet your mind and be still with me for a little while. There is time for work and there is much to be done, but without taking time to be still we are empty-hollow. We have nothing to give without silence. You have come a long way. So take this time to know me, for I am here with you always and I will fill your heart to overflowing.”

I had felt the need to cry for several weeks, but could not let the tears flow. As I sat there imagining her hand covering mine the tears spilled over the brim. I did not open my eyes or move. I just felt hot and wet streaming down my cheeks and falling. I was devoid of any emotion and disconnected from anything. No thought, just the sensation of hot and wet. 

The two nuns that had greeted me opened the door to the room and I opened my eyes. They said they had to go out and at 3pm, I should go upstairs and be with the children. I could tell that the light streaming through the door was different from the light I had experienced earlier. I went to wipe my face and there were no tears. No evidence that I had been crying. All of it had felt so real. Maybe it was jet lag, or my own imagination? It left me feeling a deep solace and release. I was light-hearted and free. My soul was filled with a deep satisfaction and peace. Of all the things to do in Kathmandu I had managed to find the healing my heart needed. Mother Theresa is so embedded in my soul and to have walked in her footsteps is a treasure. It makes me pause and reflect on the guidance of the heart and the ability to observe the moment. This one could have been missed. It was a fleeting moment in a racing van that was forced by traffic to stop long enough for me to see the understated sign. My only day in Kathmandu gave my heart the greatest gift I could have asked for. The power of clear intent is evident in a world of serendipity. I have been touch deprived lately and to give loving touch to these orphaned children filled me to the brim and I am overflowing with wonder and joy.