horses

horses

December 16, 2009  

    It was rewarding for me to fulfill my commitment and to live out my dream of praying in the Qero lands. I was happy to know that my donations allowed two loving grandparents to visit their year old granddaughter because she will have changed a lot before they can return again. I felt good about honoring my part in the Eagle and Condor prophecy. It helped me overlook the litter that trashed the beautiful landscape.
     Going to the Qero was very expensive. Juan Gabriel kept asking for donations. Sophia and I had to pay all of their expenses, purchase all kinds of food and supplies, buy double despatchos so they would have leftovers and give people money when they came to their house. Even being appointed a godmother was intended to provide more for the child.
     Sophia explained to him that both of us were servants in our countries and we did not have much money. He was convinced after seeing my things that I was withholding. The rain boots, jacket, sleeping bag and pad. He asked me how much the camera cost and I told him I didn’t know because it was a gift and the backpack was borrowed. Sophie told him that these were donations from my community so that I would have what I needed.
     During the ceremony he told me that I was worrying too much about my journey to Peru. It is ironic that I was fretting over whether I would have to borrow some of the money back in order to get home. Like a branch fallen in the river my concerns blocked the flow.
     When we got back to town we arranged a time to get together to make another donation for the ceremonies because both Sophie and I were tapped out.
     I tried to find an ATM that gave dollars that I could exchange because I don’t yet understand the sole. Finally I found one. I transpose numbers and goofed up on my pin. I tried again and it was going to charge me another fee so I punched the no button. I was anxious about being on time and finding the place by foot trying to remember the route the taxi had taken. Realizing it was worth the money I tried again. It would only give me half of what I needed. I found another machine and tried again. That red flagged my card and halted any transactions.
     I had told the man I was renting a room from that I would come with two months rent. I ended up gifting Juan everything I had and he demanded more. Sophie, who had already gifted him twice as much as me, gave him more.
     He never acknowledged the teachings I had offered, the ceremony which he had experienced before in the US or the reflexology/healing sessions that we gifted every member of his family and some twice.
     My dad was probably right, there is no place left on the planet untouched by the desperate hunger of greed. I went to bed with an empty stomach, but I felt satisfied. I had watched the Mother Theresa video right before I left and I remembered that my true teacher had said, “Give until it hurts.” I knew that today I had lived out her teaching.
     The night we watched it I had commented “What else did I need to know?” Those words echoed as I pondered why I had come so far away from home. What was I trying to prove to myself, God or Mother Earth? In that moment a little piece of my ego fell away and a part of the shaman death had been realized.
     The man who is renting me the room showed me compassion, patience and kindness. He is letting me stay here without payment until I get the ATM straightened out. ( I have the money I need, I just couldn’t get to it) When I came home tonight the front room was cluttered with furniture because his apartment had been rented to someone else. He did not look desperate or demanding. He is the true spiritual man.
     It made me sad for Juan Gabriel because I could see that he is a man caught between two worlds. A Paco who has become a businessman Desiring to get what he feels he deserves and what he wants to provide for the people back home who rely on him.
     I know that I am living the teachings of the Qero in an honorable way. I am grateful to him for showing me that.